Double Triumph
Grab another beverage of your choice – it’s time for episode two of “Living In My Head”.
Following my post on 6th April, a number of you asked to be kept updated on the adventures of my life. I was going to post on Wednesday and it was to be a story of no triumph, but I couldn’t face life, let alone face writing a post.
So here I am… Saturday… and my story of no triumph has turned into a story of a double triumph. So here we go!
Wednesday. Crossfit. It’s early. 9:30. Which means leaving at 9. Now… anything before midday is early in my eyes and since becoming self-employed I am able to fulfil my dream of not existing in the morning. So leaving at 9 is EARLYYYY. But I can’t do the evening sessions because of work, so 9:30 it is.
Life has not been my friend recently, and as a result, evenings are a mixture of being awake and doing admin anywhere between 3 and 5 am, or crashing on the sofa. Tuesday was a crash on the sofa night. So it’s safe to say I was not well rested and raring to go on Wednesday morning. I went upstairs and got half dressed… and then laid on my bed for a while. Gave myself a talking to. Imagine me, with a mini-Sarah on each shoulder. Now, I am a talker. Big time. So it stands to reason that mini-Sarah’s are also talkers. The noise goes something like this:
Negative-Sarah: Life is too much.
Positive-Sarah: That’s okay.
Negative-Sarah: I can’t face leaving the house.
Positive-Sarah: You’ll feel better if you go.
Negative-Sarah: I don’t want to feel better.
Positive-Sarah: You do, you just don’t realise you do.
Sarah-Sarah: GET UP AND GO FFS!!!
So I went. Left at 9:27. Remember me saying the session started at 9:30. Well there’s no was I was making it there in 3 minutes.
Positive-Sarah: That’s okay, Chris (instructor) won’t mind.
Negative-Sarah: Turn back now, what a waste of your time.
Positive-Sarah: You can join in with whatever is happening when you arrive.
Negative-Sarah: Humph. I would like it noted that I do not agree with this decision.
I drive in. And as I go to park I see Chris. Chris is running late. Perfect. I’m not late. Well I am, but the same time as the instructor doesn’t count as late.
Positive-Sarah: Woohoo, let’s go!
Negative-Sarah: Stop talking to me.
Go in and change my shoes (note: I don’t like driving in trainers, enclosed feet makes me feel claustrophobic). There are four other people there. So, with Chris and I that’s six. Which is pushing my limit to be honest. Three I recognise and one I don’t.
Positive-Sarah: Just tie your laces and do the warm-up.
Negative-Sarah: Do we have to? I don’t want to.
Positive-Sarah: The first exercise is two minutes on the rowing machine. We can do two minutes.
So we did. Sarah-Sarah, Positive-Sarah and Negative-Sarah did two minutes on the rowing machine. And from there was just a bit downhill really. Off the rowing machine, turn around, someone is in my space. Now, I feel in these situations the population is split into three groups. 1: Meh, I’ll stand somewhere else. 2. That is my space, but I guess for today I’ll manage someone else. 3. This is not okay, I now have to leave. Unsurprisingly, I fall into the third category here.
*Insert side story*
I had a single space at Tesco when I lived in Eastbourne and if someone was parked it in I went home with no food. Since moving a now have a whole row. Thus far, there has always been a space in my row, so this was a good decision.
*Back to main story*
I don’t want to leave. I really, really don’t. But I can’t stand somewhere else. And I was not a happy bunny to start with. So now I’ve really been pushed over the edge. But. I really, really don’t want to leave. So, I stand in the corner, facing away from the room.
Negative-Sarah: Go home.
Positive-Sarah: NO.
Negative-Sarah: This is too much, I’ve let you win so far, but this really is too much.
Positive-Sarah: NO.
Negative-Sarah: I can’t do this.
Positive-Sarah: I’m not listening to you.
So I stood. In the corner. And cried. A lot. Chris came over and I managed to join in the next section. Got my spot. I managed: 10 squats, 10 leg raises, 8 squats, 8 leg raises, 6 squats, 6 leg raises… and then thought I’m going to burst into tears again. I didn’t… but what I did was sit on the floor for the remainder of the session. Because my delightful brain won’t let me leave until the end.
Oh. And I left my shoes… do I had to drive home in trainers. Blergh.
So that’s the end of my non-triumph. Looking at the length of this, I am feeling I should have potentially made these two separate posts. But I have committed now. Feel free to go away, continue you day, and pick up the rest of this on another occasion!
Welcome back (if you left that is). We move onto Friday. Crossfit. 9:30. Leave at 9. Well… I left slightly after 9, so I got there for 9:30. I missed the first round of the warmup, but that’s okay. I sat in my space while I was changing my shoes. Clever Sarah… if I do say so myself.
And then. I did it. I did the workout. Nearly broke my ankle in the warm up… turns out jumping over a plate (the ones that go on the end of a weight-lifting bar) is REALLY DIFFICULT. Now, I’m a dancer. I am pretty coordinated. But nope. That is HARD! No idea why, but it is!
Main workout. Four rounds for quality. ‘For quality’ sessions are my least favourite. I like the ones for time. I shall explain. I am the least fit person at every session – by a mile! So everything takes me a million times longer than everyone else. Which is fine. But makes it very difficult to stay motivated when everyone else has moved on. Sessions ‘for time’ mean we all move on at the same time, I’ve just done a fraction of what they have. Sessions ‘for quality’ you go at your own pace. Which is my case is like a snail trying to workout how to slide backwards. That’s the kind of pace.
Three and a half rounds in. I am done. But not emotionally – for a change! Physically. I don’t think there is anything else left in me. Then out of nowhere. The first-to-finish-er comes over and says we’ll finish the rest together. Well there is nothing like having someone by your side to find some extra push you definitely did not think you had. And, even nicer, she did my versions of each exercise.
For example. Push up and clap. Absolutely not!! Push up… maybe on my knees, if I’m lucky, and my double-jointed elbows decide to behave themselves. Normal push up = slowly down… splat. Push up and clap would be like watching a t-rex do a push up and clap. Just not going to happen really is it. So I had my own little box, and I did an explosive push up against that. Which, let’s be honest, sounds way more exciting. Explosive. Cracking word. Anyway. Lovely first-to-finish-er (who probably has a name, but I’m too socially anxious to ask) does explosive push up against the wall with me.
So we did it. She talked me through the whole of the fourth round. And I completed the workout. I left ABSOLUTELY BUZZING.
*insert another reading rest – we’re moving on to Saturday!*
Saturday is today. I had not gone to parkrun since 2nd April. I just couldn’t face it. Mentally. Emotionally. Anything. But. I’d done 48 runs, so I’m so very close to getting my 50 runs t-shirts. Let’s be honest… we all do parkrun for the milestone t-shirts!!!
Next weekend I am in Guernsey. There is relevance to this… bear with me. I mean if you’ve go this far you have beared with me a fair amount already! Beared with… I’m not sure that’s a thing? Anyway. I digress. Guernsey. I am visiting one of my best friends. She lives there. I have never been. We have not seen each other in years. Which is not okay. But she is also my number one fitness fan. She is the person who shouts loudest from the rooftops when I do anything. I could go for a 30 second walk and she’d be like “WOOHOO, GO SARAH!!!”. So, it occurred to me that I could do my 50th run with her. In Guernsey. How exciting!!!
Friday night. I run into a little dilemma. My local parkrun has been cancelled because of building works. Please welcome back mini-Sarahs…
Negative-Sarah: Oh perfect, you didn’t want to go anyway.
Positive-Sarah: You need to get back into it.
Negative-Sarah: You’ve missed three weeks, what difference is one more week going to make.
Positive-Sarah: You want to do the 50th run in Guernsey, so we need to go today.
Well I went today didn’t I. Let me give you some important information about my local parkrun… it is flat. Completely flat. The flattest of flats. Which is perfect. I do not do hills. Not even a little bit. I am a post-midday, non-hill kind of person. Hills are not okay. WELL. The parkrun I went to this morning had THE MOST ENORMOUS HILL. To be honest I might as well have been climbing a vertical wall. It was ridiculous. And to be honest, absolutely no need. There should have been a ski lift for that section.
But remember that bit earlier when I said I can’t leave half way through. Well I’ve started now. So I plodded, crawled and stumbled up this hill. Got to the top and was like… oh… I have to keep going. I am convinced this run was 10k rather than 5k. It just kept going. On. And on. And on. So I kept running / walking / plodding / stumbling on. And on. And on.
Welcome hero number two of my week. This lady appears. To run the last hill (not so steep!) with me. Just out of nowhere. She was just there, running and encouraging. We talked about leggings!!! And when I say talk, I mean she talked… and I grunted!
Sprint finish. Because I ALWAYS sprint finish. Much to the amazement of the remaining volunteers (my local volunteers are used to my sprint finish). And then collapsed.
Oh one last thing… I only went and beat my LAST THREE parkrun times. Sorry?! What?! How?! How did I do alllll the hills and beat my time? Literally no idea!
So that’s me. Crossfit done. Parkrun done.
Over and out… until next time!
P.s. I will add into the comments the email I sent to today’s parkrun… just a little word of thanks to them that might make you smile.
